Domo. :D

listening : Nobody - Wonder Girls
Dive to Blue - L'Arc~en~ciel

IM BACK into the world of civilisation!(:
im calling it civilisation because during camp im not able to properly receive calls or sms.
SORRY PPL.(:

camp was fun. hahaha. maybe slightly disorganised in comparison to many but
generally it was FUN! and thats the most impt thing.(:
and im really glad the ppl in my group are ppl who have fun together!
because i know some of the campers are really quiet.
and im really glad that i got to interact with my groupmates. :D

and after the camp we went for sakae sushi!!!! :D
yeh. so happy. long time since i ate one of my favourite comfort foods.
we cleared like a total of 40 plus plates. :3

//editted on 28 Jun '09

i was too tireddd on fri, and suddenly felt emo. so didnt blog properly.HAH.
just saw the photos tagged by jeremy on fb. omg i look so dao on most of them.HAHA.
oh well. im not photogenic.(:
im much better off behind the camera and i know it.HEH.

as for the camp, first day was a bit mundane, not very exciting,
except for this painting game at the last station where you had to "kiap" a paintbrush on ur toes
and "attack" the opponent's arms. THAT was scary.
u see the guys play until the shirt and pants all tio paint. WA PIANG.
but lucky the game master said girls again girls. so we didnt really get much paint on ourselves.
HOHOHO. (:

2nd day was very similar to MMM in mj, so not much to say about it.
but on the 2nd day it rained!):
so no beach games. ><

maybe this is real pointless already.
i dont know why im making myself so upset over this.

listening : Younha - Yubikiri

I CLEARED THE KITE RUNNER!
im on a freaking reading spree. :3
HOHO. and suddenly no other books fascinate me at the moment...
*searches* im hoping to find nice books.
anyone wanna intro any?
OH YEH. im supposed to read the book choy intro-ed.(:

now your phone is spoiled. screwed. whatever.
i know its not exactly your fault but it doesnt make me feel any less upset then i am.
how bout, next time dont bother to say "lets go out when when when"
cause you will forget, you will put it out of your mind.
because i dont like the feeling of waiting till 1 hour before then im asked if im going out.
and the fact is your never free to ask me the night beforehand,
so forget about going out altogether.

and dont bother calling also. might as well right, since the phone is spoilt.
since when did u take the initiative to call?
im always the one stepping out first. im not exactly happy with that, but i am not pissed.
and now, your busy, like preoccupied half the time, and im still expected to call?
and then last time when im busy your excuse of not calling is cause
" i dunno when your free to pick up the call" and you dont like to be rejected when im busy.
so now im doing the same thing and its perfectly alright?

the fact is im not irritated we dont go out.
im not irritated you dont have time to talk.
im not irritated your busy.
im just pissed im not even worth a half an hour call in the
2 and a 1/2 days your actually more free.
and the fact that your heart seriously isit in it,
so why bother then?

listening : BY2 - 发呆

maybe it was to give myself some time to myself without thinking too much.
maybe it was just a sudden craving to read.
and ive been reading quite a few good books on my phone. :3
though im feeling RAAAHHH over the fact i read a fanfic for harry potter when i thought it was the original edition of the deathly hallows. ):
but other than that, i like reading from my phone.

its easily accessible,
i dont have to luggggg my ever heavy books around,
i dont have to agonize over sore wrists/hands from holding thick cover-ed books.
(since my phone is obviously lighter.HOHO.)

the only problem i face is determining if the copy i obtained is the original or another fanfic.
its not that i detest fanfic of any sorts. just that i prefer to read the original before attempting to see how other people depict the story. gives the author more respect no?

i have currently cleared :

1. The curious case of benjamin button
(surprisingly short... so i worry about its authenticity. plus the recent fanfic writers are writing relatively well. so im still doubting if its the original...)

2. The five people you meet in heaven.

3. For one more day.

and im currently reading The Kite Runner.

i really like No. 2 & 3.
i like the curious case of benjamin button but i feel that the story can be developed much better.
unless it is due to the fact im not reading the original copy...

but seriously. books like this carry their worth well.
no only is there a story line, the message they are pushing across comes out really well. :3
and the kite runner seems like another great book. but im only halfway done.
so i dont know if the ending is any good yet.

after reading so much, i suddenly pondered.
if im in the same situation as the main character in the kite runner,
meaning your friend is in danger, maybe in mortal danger, maybe in some sort of very deep trouble that might drag you in badly, like maybe cost your life or something like that.

am i going to be as strong willed as the father, to live up to his beliefs, and stick up for the weak?
or be like a coward and run away, being fearful of what might come upon me?
i know what is what i want, and what is the right answer.
but doesnt mean i can live up to it.
even after serious thought i have no idea how i will react.
maybe i will only know when the time comes.
i hope my will is strong enough not to crumble under pressure.
i hope i am not going to be the one to run away.

probably even after i have ran away i would never be able to forgive myself.

《发呆》

眼睛睁不开 你的理由不精采

冰融了一块 还是听的不明白

阳光有点歪 马路开始塞

你搭配的表情让我发呆

maybe 在乎的人就是活该

我的难过说不出来

对你不理不睬 是否相信就能够

不存在也许再过一个礼拜

你会想念我的依赖

到时候我不敢 保证还为你等待 do u mind ?

手表忘了戴 你的沉默太慷慨

撑不住脑袋 前前后后像钟摆

你表现无奈 我并不想猜

这冻结的温度让我发呆

listening : 情歌 - 梁静如

went to vienna today to celebrate early father's day. (:
saw this in dad's coffee. my brother was like : "JIE JIE JIE!!!!!"
then i turned and saw this image -- >

and i started to OMG OMG OMG OMG also.LOL.
nice hor. not generated by photoshop, not tweaked by me or brother.
it just appeared like that in the coffee. SO COOL.

and suddenly i thought. could it be someone/something is telling me to hold on?
not to give up yet, give it some time to settle down and resolve the problems?
hopefully it is. i dunno.
i suddenly realised you cant make a person wait for too long.
for a lot of things. opportunities are lost, people get frustrated, and overall you get a negative atmosphere altogether.
and i realised ive been waiting and waiting.
but thats not it. i have been waiting and waiting and being ignored generally.
and i just sink deeper and deeper into emo mode cause problems are not solved.
not even addressed or acknowledged rather.
its once again being ignored. so good job. i have finally found another person more capable of avoiding problems than me. JUST GREAT.
and now in a bid of being childish, being frustrated, and pisssed altogether,
im going to downright emo until the 21th of june and beyond. HOLY CRAP.

i decided today i shall try and stay positive the next few weeks.
ignore all these, go out with my frens, and let go of it for the moment.
before i finally do kill myself from thinking too much.
im going to stop waiting. if you call, good.
if you dont, im not gonna freaking wait next to my phone like some idiot waiting.
i will just get on with my life.
and if one day you find you have drifted out of my life totally, its not like i didnt tell you.
because im tired of putting my life on hold because your busy.
so busy its like im non-existant.

s.h.e-我们怎么了

落泪以前再看一眼
你模糊侧脸
这会不会是最后纪念
我凝视你而你凝视
窗外的阴天
一句抱歉都僵在嘴边
我搞不懂
*我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活

你的笑脸还在胸前
晃动着昨天
为何回忆会让人晕血
如果我们继续向前走进雨里面
会不会有溶解的危险
我搞不懂
*

明明从前
连真挚都很甜美
现在怎会
说句话就能肿一边
我搞不懂
*

listening : 下雨天 - 南拳妈妈

didnt go out today.
in a bid of childish pride, and in an attempt to stop arguing with my mum.
and i regretted. really regretted. HOLY CRAP.
i always do that to myself. GAHHHH.

and now im going to emo till like 21th. shit.

ive been thinking about a lot of stuff recently. and i came to a lot of conclusions.
you say you care. but in actual fact, i realised that you dont.
cause if you do, actions speak louder than words. and the fact that the words dont even
come is enough to prove that alone.
maybe you're tired, so you stopped caring.
but im tired too. and if you dont want to care, dont say you do.
it makes it hurt even more.

listening: 爱丫爱丫 - BY2
(support local talent! LOL.)

some reporters went to my poor granma's house to bug her.
please la, my poor granma is traumatised enough repeating her horrifying
(at least to her EXTREMELY horrifying and painful)
experience. then she has to repeat it to her children, her grandchildren, the police, neighbours, etc.
then they go and bug her. if im her i also will be sick of repeating liao lor.
poor gran. ): i see her like that also heartpain.

i dunno if i should go out tmr. should i?

i took photos of gummies today! in a desperate bid to not be emo in case fellow SDS-s scold.
HAHAHAHAHA. and i feel happier i guess. (:
GUMMIES. they really make my day man.
eating them cheers me up. taking photos of them makes me feel happier.
though yupi gummy bears have revamped and their new gummies are :

1.smaller,
2.disfigured horribly.
3.unproportionate.

i mean, its ok to wanna cut cost but the legs are smaller in size then the head. ><
can u imagine how much effort i had to use to get them to sit up? HAHAHA.
then throughout the shoot i kept pushing the gummies upright and telling them in an
irritated tone to "抬头挺胸“.
meawhile my brother was laughing to bits seeing me struggle with the gummies.LOL.

a sideways video (LAME video) of gummy screaming as the train approaches.
me and bro were bored while taking pics.LOL.

gummy bear committing suicide!
cause he dropped onto the floor. LOL.
then i decided to be hygenic and not eat him.HEH.

listening to : Do you know? - Someday (Korean)

i found a lot of new singers/bands/music people i like!(:
but the new ones are mostly jap.(:
maybe its cause im earnest to be able to translate them myself.LOL.

ok maybe i shall dedicate this post to my favourite music makers/singers/etc. :3
(listed in random order)

1.S.H.E! :3

i like them as a band that is very hyper and fun, and believes in making everyone on site feel good by having fun. (: yes ppl do say their vocals are not that fantastic but i love them.(:

2. Jay Chou

Yes i like his vocals. its soothing in ballads. and his ability to produce music.
other that that, i dont really like his attitude. HAHAHA.
like i was telling choy, i especially BUAY TAHAN his shake here shake there movements in MVs.

3. Yui

Dont need to say anything about her already.
歌声好听，人长得漂亮，又会创作。赢了咯。

4. Younha

Description, same as above.LOL.
just that Yui is Japanese, Younha is korean.
but other that that, they are both pretty, talented singers. :3
and younha plays the PIANO realllll well. *drools*

5. Secondhand Serenade

Nice vocals, great band.
Secondhand serenade is a BAND name but actually the singer is the one who employs the band.
he has great vocals, sings nice ballads. (SORRY i forgot his name.)

mum said today "even if you expect something doesnt mean it doesnt hurt when it happens."
i understood that logic today.
it still hurts. cause u've been praying what you expect doesnt happen.

Suddenly craves...

FOR A TEDDY BEAR!
yes a TEDDY BEAR. :3

(i officially think im really SIAO alr.HOHOHOHO.)

dear MR THIEF,

i understand you might be in dire states / need money urgently to save your life / poor until you have no money to buy food or diapers, OR WHATEVER NOT,

but please REFRAIN from stealing from the elderly.

one prime example you have stolen from is MY POOR GRANMA.
who is primarily STILL MOANING over her lost today.
and feeling scared out of her life today.
and please stop resorting to lousy underhand tricks to steal from the ignorant.

things like lightning and shits,
please leave it for your own sorry self.
HOW WOULD U FREAKING FEEL IF SOMEONE STOLE FROM YOUR GRANMA?

if u happen to appear at my gran's house again i swear i will kick your ass so hard you will regret you even lived.

Best Regards,
My granma's grandaughter. :3

suddenly.
i feel like ive been waiting for nought.
maybe i should stop.

i guess its not exactly resolved yet.
cause i still have to be the one to take initiative. and that sucks. ><
but at least i felt better than yesterday.
and i rahhhhhhhed out all. er...MOST of my grievances.
so i guess i feel slightly better. but i dont tink im really stable yet emotionally.
cry for too long le lar. HAIS.

and i found a new place to take photos. OMG.
the fullerton hotel there. near padang there also.
TODAY THE WEATHER SOOOOO NICE I LEFT MY CAM AT HOME.
YESTERDAY THE SKY SO NICE I LEFT MY CAM AT HOME.
then the day before i brought it out the sky like shit. HOLY CRAP.
the sky hates my camera man. and today the merlion look so nice. *drools*

i suddenly crave a teddy bear.
anyone wanna sponsor me one? HAHAHA.(:
like i told wan lin. when u get upset to a certain level, u become siao.
u become deliriously happy. prime example? ME.
HEH.

i tried to type a break up message 3 freaking times
and the stupid phone hanged on me 3 times.
trying to make my decision more difficult.
every single time the phone hanged i asked myself if this is what i really wanted.
every single time i thought no.
but i still typed it anyway.
what irony.
its like even the phone is protecting him.
or maybe its just that the fate between us is not over yet.

cried in the shower.
i guess its more economic.
saves tissue. saves me from mopping up after myself, clearing all the wet spots,
spares my work/paper/whatever im working on from all the damp and wet patches.

called elina and started stoning.
cant do anything properly.
cant read, cant play games. just sat there and stoned.
i dont know if its right or wrong.
i know this will hurt me a lot,
and i know i will regret it to bits, i always do.
and i really hope im wrong.
for once i dont want to be right.

我真的舍不得。
很久没有这么痛过了。
很想睡了觉起来回到以前的时候。
可是这可能只是妄想。

maybe this is the end after all.

i have taken to ignoring people,ignoring situations i dont like to deal with.
yes its wrong, its not good, its avoiding the situation but thats how i deal with my problems.
i have tried lotsa ways but most of them make me end up even more emo.
and till i find a better way i shall live with it first.
i dont want to make myself so exhausted i realise i dont wanna care anymore.
so i shall remain nonchalent till i have to deal with it.

saw this picture today :
http://chriskaula.deviantart.com/art/Nelly-VIII-118214822
made me grin like mad.
the photographer is either super UBER FAST, or he is a plain genius.
i know lotsa photographers would die to have taken this kind of photos.

TRIBUTE TO CARTOONS!(:

1. Elmo

Elmo first appeared on Sesame Street in 1979, though he was known simply as Little Monster until 1980-81. His personality wasn’t fully formed until Kevin Clash began performing the character in 1985.

I love elmo.(:
happy and likes to giggle. :3
likes to share and be merry.

2. Cookie Monster

Cookie Monster, made his Sesame Street debut in the first episode, interfering with Kermit the Frog's "famous W lecture" by eating a model "W" bit by bit. He turns it into an "N", a "V", and finally an "I", to Kermit's frustration. He then tries to eat Kermit.
(HAHAHAHAHA. so typical of cookie monster...)

Famous Phrases : "Me want cookie!", "Me eat cookie!", and "Awwwwn Nom nom nom" (said through a mouthful of food)

COOKIE MONSTER.(:
he is like me, eats anything and everything.(:
[er. ok besides brinjals and bitter gourds and...*counts*]

3. Tigger

Tigger is a character originally introduced in A.A.Milne's book The House at Pooh Corner. He is easily recognized by his orange and black stripes, beady eyes, a long chin, springy tail, and his bouncy personality. As he says himself, "Bouncing is what Tiggers do best."

TIGGGGERRRR!(:
always happy and bouncy.
always pisses off the Rabbit and gets into trouble but he is a HAPPY ORANGE TIGER!

4. Patrick

http://www.funbumperstickers.com/images/Patrick_star.gif

Patrick Star is SpongeBob's best friend. He is an overweight, pink, friendly, well-meaning but really stupid (though he did attend a community college) sea star with typically good intentions. Starfish are said to have no brains, and Patrick lives up to that image, as his head has been seen deflating.

So what if patrick is stupid?
he is happy! (:
would u rather be stupid yet happy
or be smart yet constantly upset?

jap was.... SCARY. khoo sensei was talking at the speed of a bullet.
and judging by the fact i have had prior knowledge of jap and im already dying,
i can just imagine how stressed the rest of the students feel.
like OMGGGGGG kind i guess.

but im relearning the basics in my own time. i just read beforehand and understand before the lesson. so when i go for lessons i just fit in the jigsaw puzzles.(:
hopefully when uni starts i have time to revise. if not O.O
sure PHAILLLL again. then jialat alr. ><

私はチャィアです。
NUS の学生です。

tmr got jap tmr got jap!
and i maybe meeting geraldine tmr!
YAY! :3

"She's smiling, but she doesnt mean it. She misses how things used to be...she misses how it was so real; how they cared for each other but most of all, she misses him always being there and telling her everything will be okay because she needs that now, more than ever. She's sick of feeling like something is missing."

Somehow i feel that your not gonna read all these. not ever.
then i ask myself why i bother.

had a fun day today. :3
bit tired cause of the rush and stuff today but i liked TODAY!(:
started off meeting elina and shimin at tp to take photos for the Form P.
for the uni identity card i guess.
i armed myself with my passport photos that are taken at home thinking i will not need to
malu myself and take photo there with the two of them laughing at me.
but heck. still need to take cause my photos blackground is not white. ><
but the funny thing is the both of them ended up laughing at each other more than me. LOL.

then after taking a gay photo and the only photo i have in hand to hand in with the Form P, we went for lunch at pizza hut. (:

Elina taking photo of me taking a photo of her.
And vice versa. HAHAHAHA.

OMG the light looks damn orange.
cause the blur me forgot to change the light function in my cam.
LOL.

The two chio bus again.(:

Courtesy of the smile shutter function
on my cam. i like the smiles. natural and fun.
Pity the photo got blurred. ><

then we took out longgggg trip to NUS, almost getting lost, but finally submitting our Form Ps in one piece. Judging by the fact elina and I, the getting-everyone-lost duo were present,
this was not an easy feat. HAHAHAHA.

then we moved on to our next destination, the NUS cultural centre. cause i wanted to take photos, and elina suggested there.(: when we finally got there before melting to death,
the NUS museum and cultural centre was......CLOSED. D:
but nonetheless we found a BIGGGGG patch of grass outside the place and started my phototaking.(:

The pretty pretttttttyyyyy clouds! :3

Reflected off a gigantic panel of glass.
i was on the right taking the picture,
squirming around trying not to
get myself into the photo.(:

Lai lai the two pretty ladies again.(:

Can you imagine how random we are?
Sitting in the middle of a field in the middle of NUS
taking random photos? :D

Jumpshot I

Jumpshot II
me and my gay starfish jump... -______-

Jumpshot III

The black silhoutte of the shot is namely elina.(:

I wanted to take candid shots of shimin too. but sadly that girl has an amazing ability to avoid my camera. Everytime im about to press the shutter button she will suddenly turn her head away or sth. and the cutest thing is she doesnt realise.HAHAHAHA.

Shadow shot I

Shadow shot II

Then after this i rushed to my doc to settle my back bone,
then went on to meet huiwen for my first jap lesson after 2 years. :D
but its $190 ehhhhhhhhh! my pocket got a bigggg hole cause mum say "pay urself"
oh well. O.o
my jap teacher was funny, and i enjoyed the luxury of being able to stone cause she
was teaching hiragana. but i know the luxury is not going to last long.haha.

things that make me smile/grin/laugh hilariously:

1. cedarians and more cedarians.
generally when u see cedarians u see a big crowd of people laughing like idiots with no reasons
whatsoever. Yes thats our signature outlook other than the distinguishable blue and grey
uniform.

this bunch of people realllly make my day whenever i see them. :D

2. gummy bears!/chocolate!/sweeeeetttts!

3. my camera and when i take a photo i REALLY like. (:

4. my blob, namely my smiley orange soft toy.
if u seen my previous entries u would know him. i have introduced him before.LOL.

5. i see the appreciation from my student even if she doesnt voice it, even if she didnt do as well
as she expects herself to.

maybe, just maybe, allowing myself to busy, to meet cedarians, is one of the best emo medicines.
i dont tink im well yet. may not be in the near future, but at least i felt less emo today,
for the most part of the day, in the company of elina and shimin. :D
maybe i will be emo again tmr, or the day after, or whatever, but at least today i felt happy.
happiness i have never seen myself in for a long time.(:
and i dont know if being bo chup about it is good or bad.
but seriously i have no energy to be upset about it for so long.
im glad i went out with shimin and elina today.
LOOKING FORWARD TO THE SPORE FLYERRRRR!

People i missed:

elina (though i met u today.HAHAHA.),
marion,
wan lin (i miss dinners with her. >< ),
TNG,
peckhong,
choy (yes im missing u u auntie. -__-),
xiu qi merilyn huiwen (though i saw hw today too.),
evan!!!!!!!!!,
quek, filza, fufoong, yunyun,
tianruo, sally, wanling, shimin.

and a lot a lot a lot of ppl.
lazy type.HOHO.
and i realised the mass majority are cedarians. OOPS.